Tunnel Rat

Beluga had the wheel of the Drunken Shark since she was the only person on board who could keep the ill-made tub of rotten wood on course. The rudder tended to get stuck, and the cure was either keeping a crew member hanging from a rope on the back of the ship and ready to whack it with a wooden mallet or spinning the wheel back and forth trying to unstick the damned thing. Either method made her unreliable to sail. It was a crappy ship, but convenient to steal and she'd needed to get what was left of the clan out of the damned city before too many of them jumped ship to other clans or became miners. At least on open seas, no one was leaving.

It had been two days since the cage fight. Two days of slapping the crew around to get them to work and constant duels among the crew to decide the pecking order. After the third attempt on her life and three bodies tossed to the fish, the newcomers made the wise decision that challenging her for command wasn't going to work in their favor. And hell, she wasn't even Captain! That was Mako's job. If she ever left her cabin. The pounding she'd taken, the whiskey, zerkerjuice, and getting her face rearranged had kept her unconscious for a day. The second day she woke up, demanded something to drink for the pain, and went back to bed. They were lucky to have a barber-surgeon in the crew and an apprentice Sea Witch with some healing. They'd worked through the first day to set Mako's bones, clean her wounds, and fix what they could. There was no saving the eye, and she would need half her teeth replaced with gold, but she'd pull through. Beluga had seen Mako in worse shape.

She wasn't even surprised when Mako came on deck using a broken chair for a crutch and made her way to the top deck. Beluga yelled out, "Captain on deck," just to alert the new crew to who the hell she was.

Mako sat on the deck, back against the rail, for the better part of an hour before she spoke. "How many days sailing on what heading?" Her words were slurred but Beluga was used to talking with drunken pirates, this was sort of the same.

"Two days, headed west. We can hit the Spice Coast for a refit, our credit is good there. We need cordage, sailcloth, a new rudder, caulking, food, water, rum, and gunpowder. Then I thought we could do a little raid and trade in the Bone Archipelago since no one likes trading with cannibals, but they have a lot of gold in those little villages. We can hit a small one, and steal everything not tied down. Then get out before the big villages find out and fire up the stew pots and get after us in their war canoes. Just my thinking. Your decision, of course, Captain."

"Head for Big Sandy Island first. We need to dig something up."

Beluga had been hoping that Mako had some treasure hidden somewhere for emergencies, but asking those kinds of questions of a captain was risky. "Aye, that's easy to get to. Anchor in that little bay?" Big Sandy had one shitty little well, and three palm trees, but they could get water, at least, while there."

Mako shook her head. "Water, then leave. Past that are the Deserter Islands. Go to the smallest one, most easterly. There's a chest, hidden under the biggest rock, that will give us enough to get started. And anyone we don't like can be left there. Always make the sea an offering for luck."

"Sounds good, Captain. Then on to the Spice Coast?"

"No. Then we make sail to Fort Hopeless. We'll sell half of this idiot crew to the slavers and they can learn how to fight in the pits. We'll sell this tub and buy something better. Then recruit some real fighters and buy a dozen fat slaves. Then we go to the Bone Archipelago and trade the slaves for war canoes and recruit a tribe to come with us. Then we head back to Shadowport. We've got a lot of scores to settle."

Now, that surprised Beluga. But she stayed silent, letting Mako talk. Maybe she had a plan, but it was off to a bad start. Cannibals on board? How the hell would they feed them for a week?

"They cheated us, all of them, and they need to pay for it. We'll have enough money for a load of Clingfire. We anchor around the corner of the bay and go in at night with the war canoes. We hit all the ships there at once, and burn them to the waterline. Then turn the cannibals loose on the town. It will be an all-you-can-eat buffet. And while they're making dinner, we burn the rest of the town. And that's just for starters."

Beluga had heard enough. Mako was crazy and needed some straight talk. "Look, Mak, we go way back, so no disrespect, but that's fething crazy. We need money, a good ship, and a fresh set of marks to fleece. Not another war we can't fight. That shit isn't going to work. You might burn some ships, but the clan will be doomed and probably dead."

"Doesn't matter. They need to pay. It's my reputation at stake and the reputation of the clan. We cheat! We don't get cheated!" She stood, unsteady on her feet, leaning on the rail. "Now, move away from the wheel! I'm steering the course. I don't trust you anymore Bel. You shouldn't question me. I'll find another mate."

Beluga stepped back, turned, and bum-rushed Mako, her shoulder hitting the unsteady Captain and knocking her into the railing. Like the rest of the Drunken Shark, the rail was rotted. It broke and Mako tumbled into the water. Beluga tossed the broken chair, hitting the ex-captain in the head. She sunk like a stone and the ship sailed onward.

Beluga took the wheel, looking ahead. "Crazy assed bitch, never knew when to quit pounding her head against the wall. And she never did learn to swim worth a damn."

Brother Ignatius was surprised to find a young dwarven Engineer at his door. Vary politely handed him a message: "Sorry to bother you, sir. You and your guests are invited to the casino tonight. The Professor would like to see you again." He bowed and ran off.

The message was simple, 'Greetings, I would like to thank you and the kind people of your congregation for welcoming an outsider to your tasty luncheon. Could I ask that you come to my casino tonight so that I may return the favor? Things have changed and decisions must be made. I need the advice of you, Malka, and Alessandra. I hope to see you soon, Professor Tallsqueak.'

The part that caught Ignatius' eye was the words 'my casino'. That certainly hadn't been the case just last week, but things could change in Shadowport quickly and some of his congregation had told him that no one had seen a Shark for two days, and the casino had been closed for several more. He began his walk to the docks and the new houses where the women lived, noting that the town had far fewer boats in the harbor or pirates walking the streets. How this all fits together, he wasn't sure.

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As soon as he arrived, Malka ushered him in. "Don't tell me, I know. Something happened. Elena had a vision of a rat eating a shark and all of us sitting at a table together eating cheese." Malka tended to take her daughter Elena's visions very literally.

"Well, I'm not sure about the first part, but we have been invited to dinner."

When they arrived, they noted recent changes. The sign was off the casino and the graffiti on the walls had been painted. None of them had been in the ex-laundry since the Sharks had taken it over, enclosed the building, and made many changes. And someone else was making more changes. The gaming tables were stacked against the walls except for two small card tables. Four people sat at each playing games of cards with no chips in front of them. Anything related to the sharks and gambling was gone, except an extravagant table and chairs at the far end of the room where the floor was raised like the rear deck of a ship.

At the other end was a large dining room table that could seat two dozen people. Professor Tallsqueak was sitting at one end with open spaces around him. He looked tired, with bags under his eyes and dark, swollen bruises visible even through the short fur of his face. He waved to them. "Welcome, friends. Chef Bleusnout is here from the Hollow and has cooked up many succulent dishes. Please fill your plates as many times as you like and try it all."

The chef was a large ratkin with blue whiskers who cheerfully explained each dish. There was a large variety of seafood, mushroom dishes, cave vegetables, and golden loaves of bread alongside the heavy, dark variety preferred by the dwarves and made with beer.

The Professor made small talk, asking about the fishing fleets, and the new types of fish appearing in the bay, and asked about any problems. When everyone was done and a cheese tray was brought out, he became more serious.

"I am aware of the history of this building, and how it came to belong to the Sharks. Unfortunately for Clan Shark, they have experienced a series of very unfortunate events and lost their fortunes and all their property here in Shadowport. They have left the city, hopefully for good."

Ignatius smiled at this, happy to be rid of people who had caused much misfortune. Malta and Elena were also happy, with the younger woman staring at the Professor with curiosity, seeing something no one else could. Alessandra smiled, but then looked around the building sadly. "And you own the building now?"

The Professor nodded, "My fortunes waxed as Captain Mako ran out of luck. I find myself in possession of this fine building, and many other properties in Shadowport, which is why I need your help."

"Our help?"

"Yes. I sat down to play a friendly game of cards or two and then was constantly challenged and forced to defend my winnings, my reputation, and finally my life during a cage fight with Captain Mako. Thrilling, but far from my normal academic endeavors. I find myself needing to divest myself of properties that, frankly, I don't think the Sharks acquired correctly. So I'd like you to sort these out for me and get them back to their original owners or other families you know that need land to build upon." He shoved a pile of deeds to Brother Ignatius.

"But what do we owe you for these?"

"Nothing. I won them gambling and it costs me nothing to pass them on to you. The Chief Engineer has offered the services of his junior Engineers to help build or repair the buildings needed. I am happy to help return the lands around the docks to the families who support the city with their fishing. I also own the majority of the docks. Captain Squint will be helping me by having his Kulags patrol the area. Half of the docks will be used by the fishing fleet, and half will collect fees from merchants. The money will go to support the Kulags in their good work of keeping things under control. And, I have acquired the help of Captain Pike who will be guarding the new docks until things become quieter. He will also happily sink any pirate ship that threatens legitimate fishing and trading vessels. After the example of the last two, his threats will be taken very seriously."

All four humans were taken aback momentarily. This wasn't the norm for Shadowport. Then their host turned to Alessandra. "I have a business deal I would like to propose to you."

She nervously looked around the large building, which wasn't in the deeds he had just handed over. "I'm certainly listening."

"Here me out, as parts of this will be strange to someone not familiar with the Hollows. Ratkin society feels a responsibility to train our whelps to be good citizens, but with so many of our young ones running from the caves to the bright lights of the city, I feel some of them are losing their way."

There were silent nods in agreement. They had all seen the packs of ratkin fighting with humans and dwarves in the endless gang wars, or begging for the cheese to fill their hungry bellies. Too many of them roamed the night, bouncing from rooftop to rooftop in search of people to waylay for the coin they spent at the cheese stand of the halflings the next day.

"I have been talking about the problem with my old friend, Chef Bleusnout. He is recently retired but has nurtured the young of Limburger Hollow for many decades. Besides the classes he teaches, he is also an expert chef specializing in the tasty food from the Hollow. So here is my proposal, firstly, I am gifting you with your building, Alessandra. I know of the circumstances in which you lost it and wish for you to have it back. The city needs a place to do laundry and a public bathhouse. I would like you to consider renting part of your building to Chef Bleusnout who will use the kitchens and a small part of this end of the top floor for a dining room, and half of the basement for his classes, growing mushrooms, and making a small amount of cheese for his cooking."

She looked at the deed, then down at the chef, still dishing up food for anyone who walked up to the buffet. "I'm certainly not going to turn down a proposal like that, and thank you for giving me the choice. I'll work with the chef and see what we can do to help with your young ones. I'll be honest, I'm a little worried. These deals are too good to be true."

The Professor just smiled. "So is being dealt an ace high royal flush. I'm happy that my luck lets me solve your problems."