Second Try Idol

Chapter 362: Choose (5)

A large wheel and a wing blocked my view. As I turned my head with a frown, I found myself standing in the middle of a vast plane runway under the setting sun. The dazzlingly beautiful scene looked only red to me, as if the world was drenched in blood. The cool breeze that blew felt uncomfortably cold, almost mocking my solitude.

There was no one here but me. The eerie silence and emptiness felt like I was facing the end of the world alone.

“What the hell is this...?” I muttered to myself. My voice was barely louder than a whisper.

It was the first time I realized how terrifying peace could feel. I sank to the ground and buried my head in my knees. My family and my group members all vanished because of me. The phrase "falling apart" perfectly applied to me in this situation.

Even if I wanted to quit, return, or undo it all, I didn’t know how. That helplessness was as loathsome as the burn scars on my body. The feeling of being utterly powerless gnawed at me.

[Make your choice.]

[Make your choice.]

[Make your choice.]

“For fuck's sake, give it a rest,” I spat out in frustration.

What had I done wrong? How bad could my sins be to deserve this relentless torment?

[Make your choice.]

The loud, persistent notification sound rang in my ears, so I clamped my hands over them. However, the noise continuously echoed in my brain and demanded my attention. Make a choice? What now? I wished I could just die rather than make another choice. I felt trapped in a never-ending nightmare.

I couldn't forget the last look on my parents’ faces. The way they looked at me, trying to understand, trying to believe... It haunted me.

Footsteps approached and broke the eerie silence.

“Why aren’t you making a choice?” A curious voice, oblivious to the situation, was accompanied by a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up to see a stranger smiling down at me. A man with mysterious hair, a swirling blend of pastel pink and blue, was standing next to me. He was almost too whimsical for the grim reality I was in.

I instinctively knew this man was the mastermind behind everything that had happened. He was the puppet master pulling the strings of my life.

“You bastard.”

I forced my shaky legs to stand and grabbed the man by the collar. He looked surprised as we both toppled forward. Despite scraping against the rough runway, the man didn’t show any sign of pain. He just kept smiling as if this was all a game to him.

His tone was light and almost amused. “I get that you’re angry, but I don’t understand why. I just came to ask why you’re not making a choice.”

He wasn’t worried or mocking me. He sounded genuinely curious, like someone asking, “Why aren’t you eating your food?” His question seemed so innocent, aimed at someone not doing something they obviously should be doing.

I couldn’t respond. My anger locked my mouth shut, and my lips refused to move. The man looked somewhat wronged and spoke again.

“Why are you mad at me? You said you will do whatever I want as long as you can go back in time.”

“When did I ever... Stop with your bullshit and make everything normal again.”

“Why are you being so annoying? Don’t just remember what you want to remember. Remember everything properly.”

Snap!

The man snapped his fingers, and dozens of unfamiliar memories suddenly flooded my mind. I stumbled and clutched my head as the clear and vivid memories invaded me.

“Please, save me.”

“Nah, that’s a bit too much for you to ask. If I save just you, wouldn’t that be unfair to the others? You’re not the only one who died in that plane crash.”

“You said you enjoyed toying with me.”

“It’s like pulling a leg off an ant and watching it.”

In a blank white space, the man and I were having a conversation. Yes, I had met him before. He had compared my misery to an ant having its leg pulled off, calling it entertaining. It was pathetic that this psycho was our creator god.

“Please, let me live! It’s so unfair to die like this! I will do whatever you want if you just let me live!” I had begged with desperation dripping from my words.

He had watched me pleading before standing up and approaching me. “Alright. Okay. I will let you live.”

“Really?”

“Let’s see if you can really live a good life if you go back. You’ve got the guts, but it’s not that easy. I will even fix the life I messed up for you. Do your best.”

The god had spoken reluctantly and smiled brightly, as if he had found a bigger ant than the one with a leg pulled off. His smile was eerily cheerful, almost grotesque.

“You have to do your best. I will give you a year and a half. If you don’t manage well, you will experience even more excruciating pain.”

With those words, I had lost my memory and been sent back to the past. In the new world, I debuted as Suh Hyun-Woo of Chronos. The memory I thought I’d lost was a condition the creator god had imposed when giving me another chance.

The day of the concert had been the end of that year and a half. The man was watching my expression, keenly observing my reaction like it was a fascinating study.

“See? I told you to do whatever you wanted, but why are you mad? It was a condition. I said if you didn’t manage well, you’d face even more suffering.”

“I was managing fine, wasn’t I?” I protested, my voice shaking with emotion.

Even if I had made such a deal, I had been doing my best for the past year and a half. I had achieved my dreams and avoided past misfortunes. I had finally found happiness. What more did he want from me?

But the man clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Does this look like managing well to you?”

He spread his arms wide, as if to show me the world I had supposedly created. It was a silent, empty, dreadful place.

“This world, you see, is a lie.”

“What...?”

“It’s a world manifested from your trauma.”

What was I hearing? Did he really just use the word 'lie?’ The man grinned even more widely as he saw my dumbfounded expression and continued. He was clearly enjoying himself.

“The world you died in was your first world where you were the protagonist. It stopped a long time ago. It’s a dead world. You can’t go back even if you wanted to.”

The creator god was now completely excited, and he started spilling what he wanted to say. To summarize his words...

Every person in the world has their own unique timeline and world centered around them. For instance, I have my own world, Joo-Han has his, and Goh Yoo-Joon has his own world and timeline and so on.

The timeline where I got burned and was in a plane crash was my first world where I was the protagonist. That world stopped when I died. The second world was where I lived as a member of Chronos. And this third world was one the god created to toy with me.

If you compare it to a game, it was like saving the game at different points to see different endings based on the choices you made. The main storyline remained the same, but the outcome varied depending on the protagonist's choices.

This system categorized me as the protagonist and everyone else as NPCs for this reason. I was sure that, to others, I would be considered an NPC while they were the protagonists.

“The first world has a bad ending, the second world is paused because there’s no player, and the third world is now at its final choice before the ending.” The god pointed to the plane with a smile. My lips felt dry and parched. I had been trying to ignore it, but the final choice was, indeed, the plane.

I couldn’t help but ask again, “Why did you create this world? There was no need for it. This is just torment.”

“You say such hurtful things. This world was created by synchronizing with your trauma. I’m doing my best to meet the conditions for your regression, but you just think badly of me.”

So that was what he was trying to say. Why did he always speak so cryptically? I didn’t have the capacity to humor his jokes or antics. I was barely holding back my urge to kill him so I could keep the conversation going.

The man saw my frustration and looked even more exasperated. “For you to keep living in the second world, your body and mind need to be fully synchronized. But you are still tied to your trauma from the first world. That’s why synchronization isn’t happening.”

“...What.”

“If you had just overcome your trauma, the suffering in this world wouldn’t have been this bad.”

I finally understood what he meant. This world was created as a reflection of my trauma. It was a world that embodied my deepest fears and anxieties.

“The fact that people disappeared every time I made a choice...”

The man nodded.

“That means you overcame your past trauma.”

Every person I couldn’t bear to let go, like the older Goh Yoo-Joon, who embodied my inferiority, and my parents, who always seemed sad just looking at me... They were all part of my trauma.

I had unconsciously chosen the second world over them. 'For myself...' I had coldly decided to shed them and move forward.

And so they vanished. The trauma that had shackled me for years disappeared as well.

“Even though I forced you to make these choices by creating this world, it was for your regression. That’s my grand plan. My big picture.”

[AHAHAHAHHAHA]

A system window popped up, filled with laughter. It seemed to reflect the creator god’s true feelings. Watching me struggle in this fake world must have been extremely amusing for him.

The man glanced at me and saw my expressionless face as I glared at him. Clearing his throat, he pointed to the plane again. “Anyway, once you get your head straight and stand up, your three main traumas will be gone. These are just three out of many, but it’s enough. This will meet the conditions for your regression.”

I turned to look at the plane. Just seeing it made my hands sweat. The massive object was bathed in the sunset, and it felt overwhelmingly threatening.

“Next time I get bored, I’ll come to mess with you again.”

A system window appeared in my view once more with the god’s playful remark.

[Make your choice.]

“...Ugh!”

What choice was there? What was the point of staying in a world that had nothing left? I started walking without hesitation.