Pick Up the Rejected Pure Love

As the families and relatives exited the auditorium, a heavy silence settled over the room.

From one corner of the auditorium’s entrance, drill instructors wearing red caps briskly approached.

The newly enlisted soldiers, still unfamiliar with military life, hesitated, merely observing their surroundings without daring to act.

But it didn’t matter. Drill instructors could instill fear in recruits even in the midst of such stillness.

“Hey… Line up and stay still. Don’t move.”

At the deep, commanding voice of one instructor, the recruits flinched.

I stood upright, keeping my posture firm, but the recruit in front of me shifted his body ever so slightly.

“You there.”

“Y-Yes?!”

The recruit in front hurriedly placed his belongings to the side and began to stand.

It was only a brief moment, but the instructor didn’t miss it and roared in a thunderous voice.

“Get out here—NOW!!”

The instructor’s shout echoed through the auditorium, and the recruit who had become the unfortunate example quickly stepped forward.

“Hey… Are you here to play around?”

“No, sir…!”

“I told you not to move just now, didn’t I? So why did you move?”

“I’m sorry, sir…”

“Drop down.”

Without hesitation, the recruit got down on the auditorium floor.

“When I say ‘one,’ go down and focus. When I say ‘two,’ come up and get ready. One!”

“Focus!”

“Two.”

“Get ready!”

“One.”

“Focus!”

“Two.”

“Get ready!”

“Two.”

“Focus!”

“I said TWO! Why are you going down?! Are you not focused?!”

This… hasn’t changed at all over the years.

While watching the scene unfold, another recruit accidentally made eye contact with the instructor.

“You, step out too.”

“Yes, sir…!”

The recruit, overwhelmed by the atmosphere, stepped forward as well.

The situation made me want to sigh, but I knew that even the slightest exhale could instantly make me the next “motivational example.”

I stared straight ahead, not moving my eyes an inch.

After a long session of “motivation,” we were finally instructed to move to the barracks.

“Attention!”

“Attention!”

“Attention!!”

“Attention!!!”

It hadn’t even been a full day, yet life already felt exhausting.

“We’re heading to the barracks now. Line up in rows, keeping pace with the person in front and beside you. Got it?”

“Yes.”

“That’s all you’ve got?!”

“Yes, sir!”

“When I call for rows and columns, you shout it back loud and clear. Got it?”

“Yes, sir!”

It was raining outside, so we put on our issued raincoats and headed straight to the barracks.

Marching in step, we arrived and immediately took in the all-too-familiar sights of the barracks.

Neatly folded uniforms and training clothes lined the locker shelves, with mats and neatly arranged blue blankets placed underneath.

It truly hit me—I was in the military now.

But the real wake-up call? That would come tomorrow morning.

“Now, we’re going to tell you your unit. You’re part of the 3rd Company, 3rd Platoon. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

“What’s your unit?”

“3rd Company, 3rd Platoon, sir!”

After assigning us to our units, they moved on to the next step: explaining how to introduce ourselves with rank and number.

“Next, I’ll explain how to state your rank and name. Let’s say this guy’s name is Hong Gil-dong. If a superior calls on him, he needs to state his assigned number, rank, and name. Got it? You’ll also include your platoon number in front of your assigned number. You there.”

The instructor pointed at me.

I was surprised; the distance between us was considerable, and I hadn’t expected to be singled out.

“Private 315, Lee Han-gyeol!”

“That’s how you do it. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

After that, perhaps because it was still the orientation phase, we weren’t given anything too intense.

Instead, we spent the time silently filling out forms and surveys.

The chaotic first night as a new recruit began. With the exception of the sleeping light, all other lights were turned off.

As I lay down, I could hear restless shuffling and quiet sighs, likely from others feeling uncomfortable in their new beds.

I wanted to let out a sigh myself, but I needed to fall asleep before the others started snoring.

I thought to myself: If only I wake up tomorrow and find out this is all just a dream… and Eun-ha is right by my side.

****

“Wake up, wake up! All recruits of the 2nd Battalion, wake up immediately, tidy your bedding, open the windows, and report to the assembly field by 6:10 a.m. after using the communal facilities. Wake up, wake up!”

Dream? Yeah, right. The moment I opened my eyes, all I heard was the instructor’s voice echoing through the room and the sight of my fellow recruits’ defeated faces.

Some buried their heads in their pillows, silently screaming, while others stared out the window, letting out sighs.

As the thought of it’s only been one day filled my mind, I found myself staring at the ceiling and muttering:

“We’re screwed…”

Before I had time to fully process the reality of being in the military, time kept ticking on.

“I know more than 500 species of grasshoppers. O / X*”

This question was still here.

Why does this even exist?

I half-wished for a question like, “Have you served in the military twice?”

Though I couldn’t mark “O,” it’d at least provide some kind of twisted comfort.

The day passed with more surveys, physical examinations, meetings with the platoon leader, and then…

“If you’re on the parade ground, stomp your feet—HARD!”

“You there, step out! If you think it’s you, then ALL of you, step out!”

“You! Didn’t I tell you to wear your mask properly? Didn’t you hear me?!”

“EVERYONE, DROP DOWN!”

The instructor’s shouts and “motivational sessions” continued endlessly.

We spent the day dropping down, standing up, and repeating the cycle over and over.

As the days passed, the laughter disappeared from the faces of my fellow recruits. Instead of pop songs, they began humming military songs.

The restroom became the communal facility.

Putting hands in our pockets became “hand immersion.”

Touching anything was now called “tactile engagement.”

After the evening roll call, I lay down in bed, only to have the recruit next to me strike up a conversation.

“Man… I really wanna go home. Your name’s Han-gyeol Lee, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I noticed you never get called out by the instructors. Have you been through boot camp before?”

“There’s a sad story behind that, so don’t ask.”

“Man, I wish the weekend would come already… I wanna use my phone.”

“Can we use our phones to make calls?”

“Calls can only be made through the public phone. You just get to use your phone for other stuff.”

“Ah, that’s a bummer.”

“Well, it’s better than nothing.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Anyway, let’s get some sleep before everyone starts snoring.”

“Yeah. Gotta sleep while we can. Night.”

“Good night to you too.”

I wonder how it’ll feel to finally turn on my phone this weekend.

****

Weekend Phone Calls

We couldn’t make voice calls with the phones distributed on weekends, but for an hour, I could exchange messages with Eun-ha and read the diary entries and letters she had sent me daily.

Not being able to hear her voice was disappointing, but the abundance of selfies she sent helped ease the longing.

When the second weekend came around during Chuseok*, we were granted a special five-minute call through the communal phones.

“Attention!”

“Attention!”

“Attention!!”

“Attention!!”

The drill instructor had us seated in the hallway outside the phone room and began giving instructions.

“From now on, each of you will make a phone call. The five-minute timer starts the moment I tell you to dial, not when the call connects. Got it?”

“Yes, sir!”

“And don’t laugh too loudly or giggle. Don’t forget you’re soldiers now. Understood?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Let me hear your voices—UNDERSTOOD?”

“Yes, sir!!”

My fellow recruits, clearly excited, shouted even louder.

“If only you spoke this loud normally. Numbers 1 through 8, head into the phone room.”

One by one, the recruits went into the phone room in groups of eight.

When they came out after their five-minute calls, not a single one left without tears streaming down their faces.

“Next, numbers 9 through 16, go in.”

I entered with my group and sat down in front of a communal phone. I planned to call my parents first, leaving about 2 minutes and 30 seconds to call Eun-ha.

“Pick up the receiver and start dialing now!”

“Yes, sir!”

In unison, we picked up the phones and began making collect calls. After a few rings, there was a click, and I heard my mother’s voice.

-“Is this my son?!”

The moment I heard her voice, tears welled up in my eyes. I thought I’d hold it together, but the emotions were overwhelming, and I started crying.

Most of the others were biting their lips or stuffing their fists into their mouths, struggling to keep their calls going.

I hadn’t meant to worry her, but all the pent-up sadness hit me at once.

Through trembling lips, I managed to respond.

“Yes… It’s me!”

-“Honey! It’s our son! He’s calling!”

-“Really? Let me talk to him! Son! How are you holding up?!”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“I’m doing fine…! Sniff…!”

The conversation didn’t flow well at first, but gradually, I calmed down and continued talking with my parents for about two minutes.

-“You should call Eun-ha too! She must be waiting desperately!”

“Yes. Did she make it home safely that day?”

-“Oh, she cried so much in the car. Go call her now!”

“Yes, I will. I’ll call you again later! Have a wonderful Chuseok!”

After ending the call with my parents, I steadied myself and dialed Eun-ha. My heart pounded as the phone rang, and then I heard her voice.

-“Han-gyeol?! Is it you?!”

“Yes, it’s me. What were you doing?”

-“Thinking about you, of course! How are you? Are the meals okay? Are you sleeping well? Are you hurt anywhere? How long can we talk?!”

“I think I have a little over two minutes left. Are you doing well?”

-“Yes…! I’m doing fine… What about you? Are you really okay?”

Her voice quivered, and it was clear she had started crying as soon as she heard me.

“I’m fine, really. I’m eating well and sleeping fine.”

Hearing her voice felt like all the hardships of the past week were being washed away.

-“Really?! You’re not lying, are you?”

“Of course not. What have you been up to?”

-“I’ve been going to college like you told me, working on lots of assignments, and doing well…! Don’t worry about me!”

“Eun-ha, are you crying right now?”

-“N-No, I’m not…!”

“You sound like you’re crying~”

When I teased Eun-ha, Eunwoo Hyung’s voice suddenly came through the receiver.

-“Han-gyeol-ah! She’s totally bawling right now~”

-“Oppa, get out! I’m on the phone with Han-gyeol!”

-“I’m also on the phone with Han-gyeol~”

-“Seriously, you’re the worst!”

It seemed she was back at her family’s house for Chuseok.

“Are you at home?”

-“Yeah…! I came home for Chuseok. My brother and mom both wanted to hear your voice too—”

-“Han-gyeol, are you okay? Are you eating and sleeping well?”

This time, it was her mom’s voice.

“Yes, I’m doing well, ma’am.”

-“Eun-ha, we’ll leave you to talk. Just for a little bit, okay?”

-“Thanks, Mom!”

For the first time since enlisting, a smile crossed my face.

-“Han-gyeol!”

“Yes, Eun-ha?”

-“Hehe… Hearing your voice makes me so happy.”

“You weren’t just crying, were you?”

-“It’s all because of Eunwoo Oppa… Anyway! Did you already call your mom?”

“Yes, I talked to her just before calling you. How was your trip back home that day?”

-“It was fine! I got back safely!”

“They said you cried a lot on the way home~”

-“Ugh… I couldn’t help it, okay…! I miss you, Gyeol!”

“I miss you too.”

-“Really?! I’ll send you more pictures! And more letters!”

“Don’t overdo it. I’m just glad to hear you’re doing well.”

As we continued talking, the instructor’s voice cut in from behind.

“One minute left!”

Feeling the urgency, I quickly spoke to Eun-ha.

“Eun-ha, they said there’s one minute left. I’m doing fine, so don’t worry about me. Thank you so much for all the pictures, letters, and diary entries you’ve sent. I’m so happy to hear you’re okay. Just hold on for three more weeks until the graduation ceremony.”

-“Okay, I’ll see you at the ceremony! I’m so thankful for all your messages, and I’m so glad you’re staying healthy…! Han-gyeol, I love you! You know I love you so much, right?!”

“I know… I love you too.”

I lowered my voice, embarrassed in front of my fellow recruits and the instructor.

“I love you.”

Just as I said it, the instructor’s voice boomed again.

“Ten seconds left! Wrap up your calls!”

I hurried to say my last words.

“Eun-ha, I have to go now. Eat well and take care of yourself! I’ll call you again next week!”

-“Okay! I love you! I love you more than anything in the world! I’ll write you even more letters—love you!”

“I love you too. Goodbye for now.”

-“Bye!”

I gently placed the receiver back on its cradle.

I never thought five minutes could feel so short.

Like the others, I left the phone room with red, teary eyes.

I miss her so much, it’s unbearable.

--- The End OF The Chapter --

[TL: ‘I know more than 500 species of grasshoppers. O / X’ - This kind of question in Korean military forms serves more as a psychological tool or a formality rather than having a literal purpose.

Chuseok: It is a Korean holiday that celebrates the autumn harvest and honors ancestors.

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