Chaos Effect

109  Doubts

Khan's expression grew cold as he reviewed those familiar images. He had accepted the nightmares as part of his existence, but he had never managed to grow used to those memories.

The pain, fear, and desperation felt during that tragedy reappeared inside his mind as the images gained some clarity and started flowing forward. Those sensations even felt more intense now, but Khan blamed the dense pale-red liquid for that.

Liiza gasped when the mirror showed the Nak coming out of the crater. Her grasp on Khan's hand tightened when she saw the bleeding injury on his chest, and her expression darkened once the alien stretched one of its six fingers toward him.

Khan's nightmare always ended at that point, but a frown appeared on his face when the scene continued. An azure halo covered the Nak's hand before filling the images reflected in the mirror. n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

"Are these my memories?" Khan quickly asked.

"I can't show you what your mind doesn't contain," Zalpa replied.

Shock filled Khan's mind. His entire world fell apart. Those new scenes meant that he had seen a mere incomplete nightmare for the past years. However, the surprises didn't end there.

The wound on his chest started to close as an azure halo continued to fill those memories. The scar that Khan still carried appeared in the mirror, but strands of hair that featured the same shades slowly fell in front of his eyes and partially covered the scenes.

Khan instinctively let go of Liiza's hand to check his hair. It had become long enough to reach his eyes if he stretched it, but he only saw black strands. The azure hair depicted in the memories was nowhere to be seen.

Liiza understood that something was off, but the images shown on the cauldron were too captivating to risk missing even a slight detail. She had never seen such a vivid representation of a Nak either, so she couldn't divert her attention at all.

In the memories, Khan's azure hair continued to grow as those shades intensified. The entire world became azure as the Nak took slow steps toward him.

Many details of the world disappeared as the azure color became too blinding. The trio only managed to see the Nak's silhouette reaching Khan and bending toward him to place its huge hand on his head.

The memories didn't go dark when that huge palm covered kid Khan's vision. The azure color continued to fill them, and faint shapes slowly appeared as the light in certain spots intensified.

Shining and pale azure figures moved on the mirror to create a unique scene. The trio saw a blinding circular spot encircled by multiple thin rings that featured small spheres.

The light radiated by the rings grew dimmer depending on the distance from the central circular spot. They eventually became so vague that they mixed with the pale-azure color of the scenery.

The images started moving after everything took its place. The rings, the tiny spheres, and the central large spot began to rotate clockwise and counterclockwise. There didn't seem to be a specific reason for their direction, but Zalpa understood something that Khan and Liiza couldn't get from that scene.

"[This is a solar system]," Zalpa explained as shock filled her expression. "What did she say?" Khan asked without moving his eyes from the scene.

"This scene resembles a solar system," Liiza promptly translated.

The scene continued to move until everything started to go dark. Blackness appeared at the cauldron's edges and moved toward its center until the mirror returned to its pale-red color.

"You can take away your hand now," Zalpa announced, and her voice wasn't as rough as before.

"Khan?" Liiza asked while placing a hand on Khan's shoulder when she saw that he didn't move even after Zalpa's reminder.

Khan ignored the nature of his feelings. His mind felt too messy to understand what was happening in its insides.

Khan had founded his entire life on his nightmares. He had survived the harsh life in the Slums and had waited until he reached the enlistment age to join the army and look for the Nak.

The Slums had forced him to learn how to lie, pretend, lower his head, and accept injustices, but he had gone past them without losing his ability to smile. His personality featured evident cracks due to the intense desperation caused by the nightmares, but he was still himself, and he wasn't crazy.

Yet, his nightmares had turned out to be incomplete. Actually, they only featured the least important parts of the Second Impact. They didn't show how the Nak had healed his injury, and they didn't even carry that significant last scene.

Khan didn't manage to think about the meaning behind those scenes right away because other details were too shocking to ignore. The growing azure hair forced him to think about his father. Bret had never revealed anything about that, but it felt obvious that he had found Khan in that state.

'Why didn't he tell me?' Khan couldn't help but wonder.

Bret was the second pillar on which Khan had founded his life before the enlistment in the Global Army. The nightmares gave him endless desperation, but his father was a source of truth. Khan had never once doubted his words, and that seemed a mistake now.

17:50

Khan could quickly find the truth in some of Bret's words since Doctor Parket had confirmed them after he joined the Global Army. His body wasn't mutating anymore. Something had happened during the Second Impact, but his condition was stable, and he was a proper human. Some of his features resembled the Nak, but that was it.

The Doctor had confirmed that Bret had really suppressed the mutations, but the whole story seemed to miss some details now. Khan had accepted every explanation without thinking too much about them in the past. Yet, he started to question some of them after witnessing the entirety of his memories.

'Did we really have to forsake our name due to the expenses of my treatment?' Khan wondered. 'Was it dad's fault that my nightmares were incomplete? Is he aware of the solar system?'

Khan didn't exclude anything. He didn't know the full extent of human technology, but he didn't underestimate it either. Moreover, his father had been the previous head of the scientific department of the Global Army as a mere first-level warrior. His talent had to go beyond what his peers could understand. There was a high chance that Bret had managed to see his memories, including the solar system.

Khan reached conclusions only to find new doubts. The previous reasoning made him wonder whether Bret was really a mere first-level warrior.

Everything in his life suddenly felt fake. Every explanation led to more questions, and eventual answers only made him doubt what he knew even more.

Khan abruptly left the cauldron, ignoring that Liiza's worried gaze never left him. He walked through the cave as countless thoughts filled his mind. He couldn't find peace. Nothing seemed able to bring stability. His foundation had crumbled and had turned him into a mass of doubts that didn't go anywhere.

Zalpa continued to stare at the pale-red liquid. Her face didn't reveal any emotion. She seemed deep into her thoughts as she reviewed the images that she had just witnessed.

Meanwhile, Liiza didn't know how to react to what she had just learnt. She knew that Khan had suffered quite a lot in his life, but seeing the actual scenes he had to experience every night left her stunned.

Liiza had developed a cold and aloof character due to the conflicts with her mother and her species. She was quite rebellious, but she could still decide to open up if the situation required it. However, her feats were nothing more than child's play compared to Khan.

Khan had literally gone through hell, and not only once. The scenes depicted by the cauldron were only the first of the harsh aspects of his life. They didn't consider the Slums, and they didn't even involve Istrone's crisis.

Liiza didn't know much about the latter, but she was aware that he had suffered there. She had even seen his first trauma now. It was hard to believe that Khan could still smile and care so much about others after everything he had gone through. Khan's resolve to never slack was commendable. It showed his resilience in front of traumas and challenges. Yet, in Liiza's mind, his ability to enjoy some aspects of his life after those traumas was his best aspect. She couldn't even imagine how strong he had to be to succeed in those feats.

Still, that strong character seemed on the verge of falling apart now. Khan walked up and down the cave as he tried to find the faintest trace of stability in his life. He suddenly found himself without footholds. He couldn't understand what was real anymore, and he didn't even know who he could trust.

Khan eventually hit something when he turned again. The impact took him by surprise and made him angry, but his feelings froze when he saw Liiza scratching her nose and revealing a sad smile.

Khan had bumped into her, but she didn't say anything about that. She limited herself to smile in a desperate attempt to make him understand that she was there if he needed her.

Khan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out of it. He tried to say something multiple times, but he always failed. He eventually gave up on the matter and sat on the ground while releasing a helpless sigh.

Liiza slowly kneeled in front of him, being careful not to touch him. Khan didn't look at her. His eyes were wide open as they stared at the ground and saw images that only his mind could generate.

Liiza mustered her courage and placed her hands on his cheeks. She tilted his face to make his eyes point at her, and Khan eventually focused on his worried girlfriend. She was doing her best to show a plain and peaceful expression, but it was clear that she didn't know what to do in that situation either.

"I'm lost," Khan whispered while using the white glow of Liiza's eyes to maintain his concentration. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Everything feels fake now."

"I can help you find what's real," Liiza announced.

"Please," Khan almost begged her, and Liiza quickly cleared her throat to suppress the slight tremor in her voice.

"I'm real," Liiza explained, "Snow is real, your feats among the humans are real, your power is real, and your feelings are also real."

Liiza placed a hand on Khan's uncovered chest before continuing. "Your heart doesn't lie. I heard it when you meditate, when you are with me, and when you flew for the first time. You would like those aspects of your life even without the Nak."

Khan couldn't help but take Liiza's hand in his grasp, and she revealed the most beautiful smile that he had ever seen at that point. She carefully bent toward him, and Khan helped her sitting on his lap.

"It feels that I'm back to square one," Khan revealed while laying his head on Liiza's chest. "Why did the Nak even save me? What was that solar system?"

Liiza didn't have answers to his questions, so she limited herself to take Khan's head between her arms. Her slow heartbeat resounded in Khan's ear as she carefully caressed his hair and left soft kisses on his forehead.

"Someone must know," Liiza eventually said. "I'll help you find answers. The knowledge of two species is at our disposal. How hard can it be to find a single solar system?"

"The Nak have probably seen thousands of different solar systems," Zalpa suddenly announced as she turned toward the couple. "Finding a specific one among their immense knowledge might take decades."

Liiza glared at Zalpa, but Khan shook his head while lightly squeezing her hand. He only wanted truths now, no matter how harsh they could be.

"I think the position of the solar system isn't important," Zalpa continued while ignoring the couple. "You should focus on why the Nak has implanted that image in your brain. If you ask me, it wanted you to go there."